19.02.2012 - Practice of Good Manners [Husnul Khuluq]

Topic: Good Manners
Speaker: sister Noor Jehan


*Halaqa*

- "There is nothing that weighs heavier upon the scale of the a believer on the Day of Judgement as does Husnul Khuluq" [Al-Tabarani]

- Without excellent character, how can one be merciful?

- The prophet [SAW] was sent for the perfection of character.

Narrated by Malik (ra): The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “I was sent to perfect good character.” [Muwatta Book 47, Number 47.1.8]

عَنْ مَالِك أَنَّهُ قَدْ بَلَغَهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ بُعِثْتُ لِأُتَمِّمَ حُسْنَ الْأَخْلَاقِ

- Success is linked to excellent behaviour!

- A beautiful person that is rude - at the end of the day when they look in the mirror they're just that - a rude person.

- The people with the best of manners will be the closest to prophet Muhammad [SAW] in jannah!

- The best amongst you are those that are the best to their families [prophetic hadith]
Why is family mentioned here? Simply because it is easy to be good to friends and strangers but your family members are those that know you inside out - how are you with them?

- People might have done good deeds all their life but on the day of judgement they will be amongst the bankrupt ones (almost like if they were getting sued) for taking the rights of others.

- The difficulty of dying, our state in the grave, crossing over the siraat*, and the day of reckoning is so great and we can go through all of this without difficult only to be stopped a t the doors of Jannah.

After waiting 50,000 years in the Shade of Allah (swt) and after crossing the Siraat suspended over Hellfire, the man finally makes it to thegates of Jannah.

You can imagine how he lived his life in the Dunya: praying, fasting, and giving in charity. But... even after his successful journey to thegates, he is surprisingly denied entry. His brother, neighbour, friend or colleague has called upon him for the time he backbited, mistreated or kept what was borrowed. The most neglected and undervalued act of worship among us today is that of Akhlaq (Good Character) and among the most damning if left unchecked.

[Siraat: The literal meaning of Sirat is 'Path'! Those people who had remained on the right path, that is, who had not deviated from the right way of truth, honesty and righteousness will, in the Hereafter too, pass securely and safely on the path over hell. Some of them will cross that bridge as swiftly as lightning, some like mounted men and some falling and rising. Briefly speaking, they will cross that bridge in the same way in which they had crossed the path of their lives in the world.]

- Food for thought: How can a person pray salah, yet not follow up with bad behaviour? Acts of worship should be be helping you in developing your character.

- Deeds that lead people to paradise:

• Taqwa [consciousness of Allah SWT]
• Husnul Khuluq [Good character]

- Are people born with good akhlaq? No. It's something that needs to be developed. You can create good habits and perfect your character by working on yourself - all you need is the will to change and become a better person!

- Ask yourself about your own character and manners. Are you the kind of person that is one way with some people and another way with others?

- 2 things that can never be found in a hypocrite: the understanding of the deen, and good akhlaq.

- The best thing Allah [SWT] can give to someone is good akhlaq.

- Jannah is a perfect place and only someone that is beautiful inside and out can enter it...are you beautiful? Let us continue to correct ourselves until we reach that level, inshaAllah.

- Always be mindful of doing good deeds and saying good things despite what others may do or say!

- You can't control how others behave, but you can control yourself and your behaviour.

- How do you behave with someone from whom you can't get any good from, i.e.: no benefit? 

- Sometimes people misbehave with us, and take our rights. Allah [SWT] tells us that we are all placed in this world to be tested...will we not have patience then? Remember, it's alright...Allah [SWT] is watching everything and He is the Most Just.

- The best example of mildness and softness of character is Rasulullah [SAW]
A house in which people are soft towards each other is like jannah and a house in which people are harsh towards each other is like the Jahannum.

- We are commanded to have firmness in our belief but softness in all else [ex: dealing with people]

Take for example our body. Our bones are firm but our joints are flexible!

- In order for all of us Muslimahs to build a strong community, we need to be soft towards each other. Having a soft and sweet character will make you likeable, harshness will make you unattractive, not matter how beautiful you may think you are on the outside.

- So what if someone says something mean to you? Let it go...we are all slaves at the end of the day and only Allah [SWT] is Great.

- When correcting someone, don't go against their nafs (ego), but rather through your softness try and awaken their consciousness.

- If you are harsh with people around you - they might listen to you out of fear, but probably don't respect/love you.

- The deen is spread by good actions and behaviours not speech and words. It's all about how you're going to treat people before and after the 'speech'.

- Faith and indecency cannot fit in the same heart.

*Homework :)*

- Make a list of things you don't like seeing in people.
Example: backbiting, selfishness, rudeness, nosiness, etc.

- Now take note of how you react to people when they treat in this manner.

May Allah [SWT] help us perfect our character, ameen!

05.02.2012 - Prophet Muhammad [SAW]

Topic: Prophet Muhammad [SAW] 

Speaker: sister Noor Jehan


The prophet Muhammad [SAW] is the best example to emulate if we wish to live prosperous lives on the path of al-Islam.


Recall the following incidents in his life and how he [SAW] reacted to them. 

1. The story in which prophet Muhammad [SAW]  helped a non-believing lady carry her load. Along the way she kept mocking and malign the Prophet [SAW] - not knowing it was he himself that was the one helping. Yet, he said nothing. He continued to help the woman with her load. He didn't lash back at her; he didn't pray for God's destruction upon her; he didn't drop her load and let her fend for herself. No. He helped the woman anyway, and when she found out who he was, all she could do was follow him into Islam.

Yet, the fact that she became Muslim is not the most important aspect of this story. It was the Prophet Muhammad's character that is a lesson for us all here. It is this aspect of the Prophet's sunnah that many of us have completely neglected. 

In the video below, you can listen to Dawud Warnsby's nasheed that he made based on this conversation between prophet Muhammad [SAW] and the lady:

2. The story of Ta'if - one of the most heart wrenching incidents in the life of Muhammad [SAW]

The rejection the prophet (SAW) faced in the city of At-Taif was unimaginable. After the death of Abu Talib and Khadija (ra) he decided to undertake a journey to a new city, he had been preaching in Mecca for 10 years and he had given up hope of them accepting Islam. He had used every technique, he had implored them but they continued to be stubborn and mocking. The city of At-Taif was the neighbouring city of Mecca, as old and prestigious as Mecca. The tribe of At-Taif was the rival of the tribe of Mecca (i.e: the Quraysh). He journeyed his way up to the city of Ta’if which was at the top of a mountain. It was a rigorous and long journey: the city of Taif is at the very top of a mountain. Even today it takes an hour and half by car these days...Imagine (SAW) walking all by himself, thinking that people of Taif might be more open than people of Mecca. Upon arriving at the city he faced a bitter and cruel rejection.


1 Hadith can make us understand the impact of this incident had on Muhammad (SAW)'s psychic:


It is narrated in a hadith that Aisha (RA) asked the prophet Muhammad (SAW): "Oh Messenger of Allah, was there any day that was more painful than the day of Uhud?


[At Uhud, he was physically wounded, his molar teeth were removed, a spear was stuck inside his very cheek,  his blood spell from his face and on this day so many of his beloved companions died and his uncle Hamza was martyred]


 He replied: Yes, the day of Taif."


The rejection he faced from the people of Taif is the single most traumatic and difficult experience of his life:


The Prophet (SAW) approached the leaders of Taif
- They happened to be 3 brothers (their father was the chief, when he passed away they agreed they would rule together the city of Taif)
- He (SAW) told them about his message and the teachings of Islam
- He (SAW) asked them to embrace Islam and help him spread this message
- The 3 of them rejected him in the utmost of contempt and sarcasm
- One of them said: "Has Allah not found anyone more worthy than you to be the prophet?"
- Another one said: "I'm not going to speak to you. Why? Because if you are a liar then you are to ignoble for me to speak to. And if you are truthful then you are too noble for me to speak to."
- Not only did they reject him with the utmost contempt and ridicule, they then sent the slaves and the riffraff's of the city to physically pelt him with stones, to physically persecute and torture him.
- The prophet (SAW) had to flee for his very life down the mountain


...And the story continues in other books of Seerah where he made a beautiful du'a and the angel came and said "Oh Prophet (SAW), if you want Allah (SWT) has willed that you may destroy the city from the command of an angel and you may crush the people of Taif between 2 mountains. And if you want it is up to you what you want to do." 


The prophet (SAW) choose to forgive and said: "I hope that inshaAllah if they reject, perhaps their children will accept Islam." And this is exactly what happened.


- It was so easy to love the prophet Muhammad (SAW) - his characteristics made people love him.


- He is the only man on Earth about whom every detail is documented in the form of ahadith.


- In Surah 'Abasa, verse 80 (http://quran.com/80) we see that even a small frown from Muhammad [SAW] to a man was corrected publically by Allah [SWT] - a frown! What about us and our 'dirty looks' and mean stares?


- Therefore, since the smallest of actions were corrected, we can all rest assured that the bigger actions were all nothing less than perfect.


- When his uncle, Hamza (ra), was killed and mutilated...islamically revenge [equal to what was perpetrated] was allowed, but Allah [SWT] said (paraphrasing), you oh Muhammad cannot take revenge: you must forgive because you are the best example. Forgiveness is greater than revenge.


- As much as we focus on the outward sunnah we must focus on the inward sunnah - that is character as well because we know that the biggest weigh on the scale on the day of Judgement will be character and akhlaq. 


We also recall the story of the woman who use to throw garbage at the prophet Muhammad [SAW] every time he passed by her house...one day she didn't - Muhammad [SAW] went to her house to see how if she was okay. Subhanallah.


--- Jessica [a sister from the halaqa] shared her story about how before she became Muslim, she use to hate Islam. She hated Islam and one day she read about Muhammad [SAW] and that all changed. Today alhamdulillah she is a strong Muslimah - these stories never stop making us think and realize the greatness of the actions of Rasulullah [SAW].


He was indeed the best of examples. He shortened salah in the masjid to make it easier on the women praying in congregation who had babies and children with them. If we put that into perspective with today - deem yourself like if your masjid has a proper place for women to pray in to start with.


Many more stories were shared, stories that incited us all to read and learn more about Muhammad [SAW], alhamdulillah!

12.02.2012 - Women in the Media

MissRepresentation

A film exploring how the media’s misrepresentations of women have led to the underrepresentation of women in positions of power and influence.

Disclaimer: Very graphic content at beginning of video!

http://www.missrepresentation.org/

*Notes*

The media is the contemporary backlash against women's advancement - our view of women is defined by the media's portrayal of women as vulnerable, sexualized, and objectified beings...taking away their power of being whole people.

From day to day women are losing their honour, dignity, worth, and integrity.

As a result women have come to learn to be objectified...and to objectify themselves. “Self-objectification has become a national epidemic,” according to Caroline Heldman, Ph.D.

Is it a wonder that teenage girls feel more powerless than ever?

Children have different interpretation abilities and therefore, are more vulnerable to the messages that the media is showing. We can't turn a blind eye on how the media impacts our culture and harms both our daughters...and sons.

"We women need to stop our destructive behaviours towards each other; judging and scrutinizing each other. Girls are harder on other girls. Create your own stories of women in the media - teach those around you to look at the media critically. Media literacy today is as crucial as literacy."

A Problematic Quote: “The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." –Pat Robertson


*Discussion Questions*

1. Who are the people behind the scenes? The majority of producers and film makers?

2. What was the purpose of the creation of the television?
Our ultimate goal in relaying this knowledge to others should be to sensitize them, so they as active agents of socialization in the life of their loved ones become those that play a prescriptive role rather than letting the TV take on this task. People should be given information regarding the historical goal behind the creation of the television, the direct effects of television on children's health and the effects of advertisement in television on children's behavior.

Although many people might be oblivious to the fact that TV can be harmful, we should remember that "the underlying purpose of mainstream television was and continues to be the sale of goods for profit-the commercials-and not the entertainment" (Albanese, 2009, p.97) as we have come to believe.


3. What are the consequences for our generation? For both women and men?
We all know that according to social learning, stimulation and cultivation theories, messages that recur are learned through observation.


4. Why is it crucial to sensitize young girls and boys?
The average teenager spends more than 10 hours each day consuming media — more than sleeping or attending school. Media is the messenger and an increasingly powerful one. Mainstream media bombards children and adults alike with overwhelming messages that women should be beautiful and sexy, while men should be powerful and often violent. These messages limit children’s ideas of what is possible in the world and can have damaging effects on their self-esteem, health, and the way they treat others.


5. How can we as mothers, sisters, daughters, and friends make a change and sensitize those around us?
We can make a change through helping our children, siblings, and friends by:
- Teaching them that the media communicates ideas and teaches individuals.
- Identifying the ways media and advertisements portray gender
- Defining stereotype and identify stereotypes frequently seen in mainstream media.
- Showing that when stereotypes are repeated over and over, individuals begin to accept them as normal or real [desensitization]
- Making the connection between media objectification and the low numbers of women in influential leadership positions
- Understand that what we see in the media is influenced by political and economic decisions.
- Explaining that changes in the media and advertising industry have given companies more power in determining what we see and hear.
- Explaining the dangerous effects of solely profit driven media and advertising industries, the impact they have on our culture, and the news/information we are given access to.

29.01.2012 - Allah [SWT]

Topic: Allah [SWT] 

Speaker: sister Noor Jehan


This halaqa served the purpose of helping us realize the importance of learning about Allah [SWT] and touched upon various theological questions that reminded us about our ultimate purpose in this life [to worship Allah]. It also helped in reminding us about giving thanks to Allah [SWT] for all His favours and blessings. Alhamdulillah.

• The topic of Allah [SWT] is so vast that if all the oceans were made into ink, the trees into pens, and the universe into a canvas, it wouldn't be enough to describe His Greatness.
• A heart cannot hold 2 loves. Either you have in your heart the love for the dunya, or the love for the akhirah
• Every creation thing glorifies and praises Allah [SWT], what about us?
• The best way to know Allah [SWT] and the shortest, fastest, sweetest way to get to paradise, is through His names
• Knowing His names/attributes demonstrates familiarity - and above all knowledge the most noblest of knowledge is that of Allah [SWT]
•  Think of Allah [SWT]'s favours on us - now imagine waking up tomorrow, with only the things you thanked Allah [SWT] for today. How grateful are we to Him?
• Something as small and simple as having a balance while standing could not be possible without our hearing and motor skills [which help us keep our balance]
• Allah [SWT] choose US to be amongst the best of people, the best nation...are we grateful for that?
• The more you fill your heart with love for Allah [SWT], the more your love for this dunya [world] decreases - this helps us separate ourselves from all worldly desires

“When you sit with people of the dunya, you become a drop in their ocean, but when you sit with people of the akhira, the dunya becomes a drop in your ocean.”

• A benefit: with a good relationship with Allah [SWT], you will automatically have a good relationship with others 
• Every day, when you start your day - start it with Allah [SWT], read the morning du'a, have a little conversation with Him, be grateful that He gave you the ability to rise in the morning.
• Allah [SWT] doesn't tell us to pray or perform Salah...rather He orders us to establish Salah. Why does Allah [SWT] say establish? So that it is firmly rooted, and nothing else in the world can happen that'll shatter it, or take its place. That's how Salah out to be [established].
• Our children know the actions of Salah and its movements, but they have no idea about what it really is, its beauty, and its place in Islam.
• A good plan for today is better than a perfect plan for tomorrow - things don't always have to be perfect...do the little you can now and perfect everything step by step, little by little - and surely that is the recipe for success.
  
• Action Item: Try to do 1 thing daily that will help strengthen your relationship with Allah [SWT], even if it's as little as smiling at your neighbours!  

By Nancy Biddle

A sister asked if she is bad for wishing that a snow storm would come so school was closed for the day so she could focus 100% on being a better Muslimah. I replied: Why wait until ideal moments. To work on improving yourself? After the Muslims had to turn and pray towards The Kabba before the Muslim were allowed to make hajj, before the final "conquest" of Mecca, the Kabbah was actually still full of idols and in actuallity all the Muslims were praying in their direction too. They could have protested "--but the Idols! We can't pray until they are cleaned away!" but instead they accepted the imperfect situation and did the best they could until they had the chance to make it better. I also wait till a rainy day to finally sit down and improve something, read something, or honour exact prayer timings but now since I heard about this hadith or teaching point I realize any time is the perfect time to improve myself no matter what imperfect conditions there are around me. (Teaching point source from the Montreal Sisters Knowledge Circle, held Jan 29, 2012)


We listened to the following video of Surah Hashr at the end - very moving subhanallah!

O Allah, You are Pardoning and Generous and You love to pardon, so pardon me. O Allah, I ask You for pardoning, good health [in body], and to be [spiritually] health always in my religion, and in this life, and in the hereafter.