19.02.2012 - Practice of Good Manners [Husnul Khuluq]

Topic: Good Manners
Speaker: sister Noor Jehan


*Halaqa*

- "There is nothing that weighs heavier upon the scale of the a believer on the Day of Judgement as does Husnul Khuluq" [Al-Tabarani]

- Without excellent character, how can one be merciful?

- The prophet [SAW] was sent for the perfection of character.

Narrated by Malik (ra): The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “I was sent to perfect good character.” [Muwatta Book 47, Number 47.1.8]

عَنْ مَالِك أَنَّهُ قَدْ بَلَغَهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ بُعِثْتُ لِأُتَمِّمَ حُسْنَ الْأَخْلَاقِ

- Success is linked to excellent behaviour!

- A beautiful person that is rude - at the end of the day when they look in the mirror they're just that - a rude person.

- The people with the best of manners will be the closest to prophet Muhammad [SAW] in jannah!

- The best amongst you are those that are the best to their families [prophetic hadith]
Why is family mentioned here? Simply because it is easy to be good to friends and strangers but your family members are those that know you inside out - how are you with them?

- People might have done good deeds all their life but on the day of judgement they will be amongst the bankrupt ones (almost like if they were getting sued) for taking the rights of others.

- The difficulty of dying, our state in the grave, crossing over the siraat*, and the day of reckoning is so great and we can go through all of this without difficult only to be stopped a t the doors of Jannah.

After waiting 50,000 years in the Shade of Allah (swt) and after crossing the Siraat suspended over Hellfire, the man finally makes it to thegates of Jannah.

You can imagine how he lived his life in the Dunya: praying, fasting, and giving in charity. But... even after his successful journey to thegates, he is surprisingly denied entry. His brother, neighbour, friend or colleague has called upon him for the time he backbited, mistreated or kept what was borrowed. The most neglected and undervalued act of worship among us today is that of Akhlaq (Good Character) and among the most damning if left unchecked.

[Siraat: The literal meaning of Sirat is 'Path'! Those people who had remained on the right path, that is, who had not deviated from the right way of truth, honesty and righteousness will, in the Hereafter too, pass securely and safely on the path over hell. Some of them will cross that bridge as swiftly as lightning, some like mounted men and some falling and rising. Briefly speaking, they will cross that bridge in the same way in which they had crossed the path of their lives in the world.]

- Food for thought: How can a person pray salah, yet not follow up with bad behaviour? Acts of worship should be be helping you in developing your character.

- Deeds that lead people to paradise:

• Taqwa [consciousness of Allah SWT]
• Husnul Khuluq [Good character]

- Are people born with good akhlaq? No. It's something that needs to be developed. You can create good habits and perfect your character by working on yourself - all you need is the will to change and become a better person!

- Ask yourself about your own character and manners. Are you the kind of person that is one way with some people and another way with others?

- 2 things that can never be found in a hypocrite: the understanding of the deen, and good akhlaq.

- The best thing Allah [SWT] can give to someone is good akhlaq.

- Jannah is a perfect place and only someone that is beautiful inside and out can enter it...are you beautiful? Let us continue to correct ourselves until we reach that level, inshaAllah.

- Always be mindful of doing good deeds and saying good things despite what others may do or say!

- You can't control how others behave, but you can control yourself and your behaviour.

- How do you behave with someone from whom you can't get any good from, i.e.: no benefit? 

- Sometimes people misbehave with us, and take our rights. Allah [SWT] tells us that we are all placed in this world to be tested...will we not have patience then? Remember, it's alright...Allah [SWT] is watching everything and He is the Most Just.

- The best example of mildness and softness of character is Rasulullah [SAW]
A house in which people are soft towards each other is like jannah and a house in which people are harsh towards each other is like the Jahannum.

- We are commanded to have firmness in our belief but softness in all else [ex: dealing with people]

Take for example our body. Our bones are firm but our joints are flexible!

- In order for all of us Muslimahs to build a strong community, we need to be soft towards each other. Having a soft and sweet character will make you likeable, harshness will make you unattractive, not matter how beautiful you may think you are on the outside.

- So what if someone says something mean to you? Let it go...we are all slaves at the end of the day and only Allah [SWT] is Great.

- When correcting someone, don't go against their nafs (ego), but rather through your softness try and awaken their consciousness.

- If you are harsh with people around you - they might listen to you out of fear, but probably don't respect/love you.

- The deen is spread by good actions and behaviours not speech and words. It's all about how you're going to treat people before and after the 'speech'.

- Faith and indecency cannot fit in the same heart.

*Homework :)*

- Make a list of things you don't like seeing in people.
Example: backbiting, selfishness, rudeness, nosiness, etc.

- Now take note of how you react to people when they treat in this manner.

May Allah [SWT] help us perfect our character, ameen!